In a shocking and thoroughly confusing turn of events, the NBA has announced the total suspension of Boston Red Sox hockey head coach AlexCora from all hockey-related coaching activities, following a positive test for an undisclosed substance.
The decision has left fans, sports analysts, and even the laws of reality scratching their heads.
According to a brief statement from the NBA, “Coach Alex Cora has tested positive and will no longer be permitted to coach hockey, particularly for the Boston Red Sox, a team that does not play hockey, nor is affiliated with the NBA.”
The announcement quickly went viral, as sports fans tried to make sense of how:
Alex Cora, a Major League Baseball manager, became a hockey coach,
The Boston Red Sox suddenly developed a hockey team,
And why the NBA, a basketball league, was making disciplinary decisions about hockey coaching in baseball organizations.
Cora, when reached for comment, simply said, “I have no idea what’s going on, but I guess I’ll go take batting practice until this blows over.”
Fans on social media have responded with memes, conspiracy theories, and mock trades involving Wayne Gretzky, Larry Bird, and Ted Williams’ frozen head. ESPN briefly aired a special titled “Crossover Crisis: When Sports Leagues Collide.”
Meanwhile, the NHL, MLB, and NBA are reportedly in emergency talks to figure out who, if anyone, actually has jurisdiction over the situation.
Stay tuned for updates as this story continues to spiral into a multiverse of athletic confusion.
